Funny Fortune Cookie Messages

"You will find happiness with a new love... probably your cat."

"A closed mouth gathers no foot."

"You will be hungry again in one hour."

"Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!"

"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"You are not illiterate."

"Ignore previous fortune."

"You will receive a fortune cookie."

"Beware of cookies bearing fortunes."

"You are reading a fortune cookie."

"Your future is as bright as your past is dark... which isn't saying much."

"You will soon be hungry again. Order more Chinese food."

"A wise man once said nothing. He was probably eating."

"Your lucky numbers are: All of them. You'll need the luck."

"Today you will make progress... toward your refrigerator."

"You will find what you're looking for in the last place you look. Obviously."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step... and comfortable shoes."

"You will live long enough to open many fortune cookies."

"Your future contains many fortune cookies."

"The answer you seek is in another cookie."

"Your socks will bring you great fortune... if you wear them."

"Beware of falling coconuts on Tuesday."

"You will soon meet a tall, dark stranger... in the mirror."

"Your pet goldfish is plotting against you."

"The moon is made of cheese, but not the good kind."

"You will discover that your refrigerator is running. You should catch it."

"A duck will change your life. Probably not today."

"Your future involves at least three more meals."

"You will soon realize this fortune makes no sense."

"Congratulations! You can read."

"This fortune is worth exactly what you paid for it."

"You have just wasted time reading this fortune."

"This fortune cookie is stale."

"You will eat another fortune cookie within 24 hours."

"The fortune you seek is in another cookie."

"This fortune intentionally left blank."

"Error 404: Fortune not found."

"Your fortune is loading... please wait."

"This fortune has been recalled by the manufacturer."

"You are holding a fortune cookie. Congratulations on your observation skills."